Wednesday, December 16, 2009

time for life~

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination.
It is our light more than our darkness which scares us.
We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be s

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

just back from camp

~ recreation sport~

~ raudhah camp~
~ teluk nipah~
~ pulau pangkor~

guess what?
this is a subject for my course

*1st day*

frm campus to jetty

reach pangkor with ferry

[ build up own tent ]

seriously,hw long hav i been building a tent

lost almst all of my skills

cook for dinner

we got curry fish! yum!^^

*2nd day*

early in the morning

we move to teluk nipah ~beach~

started with [ water confidence ]

with life jacket

don't panic in water!

[ rakit time ]

build own rakit with 3 bamboo sticks and 10 pelampung

travel frm the shore to the coral island

my team gt the 1st place!

huhu V(^.^)V

then back to the shore

i heard we traveled 1.5km

sweats~ tiring~ some even hurt their hands..not me of coz

lecturers said so,its either u pedal till the shores or u die in the middle of the sea


rest, cook, LDK

gotta do ppr work and reports

*3rd DAY*

[ Abseiling ]


but mission accomplished

hiking kononnyer

juz pas thru a jungle to reach the hidden beach

[ snorkeling ]

again, phobia...

but so great to see my new friends

sea cucumber, starfish, fishes, corals...

with fatin,tq!

hiking again...

masakan rimba


  • ocean pancake
  • half cooked bamboo rice
  • banana leaf burnt chicken
  • world first ranking sweet potato

why ocean pancake? >.<

we discovered the oceanand put in the experience in the food

hahahah xp

and of coz it is never ez to prepare half cooked food


then bbq

mlm kebudayaan



no comments lol...

*4th day*

Frm campsite to jetty


Get in ferry back to lumut

Bus of ipt to kl

Traffic jam man

My **** hurts

Back to kl(@.@)

Saturday, November 7, 2009


life is full with unexected things...

few weeks ago with the hope to build up good relationshi with frens

this week

thing changes

argue and recover

what are we trying to do?

few weeks ago i was dissapointed though i was not that much to him

this week

thing changes

hold on

hot and cool and remain our hot again~

cud i fall for him?

few weeks ago i was so excited to be someone wif different identity

this week

thing changes

bcoz of his dishonesty

i hold on the excitement

try to think rationally

we are different though we are similar

cud we be good buddy and family forever?

few weeks ago i was still free

this week

thing changes

bz with works

just bcoz i want to go to Pangkor

i should say

i am so happy to leave those unhappy things in kl

meet new life....soon....

i will be back~ V(^.^)V

Thursday, November 5, 2009



not my body sick..

my mind...

my heart...


i am starving~

i am getting crazy~

atmosphere is so akward...

i remain quiet...

u too


silently predicting our future

Wednesday, November 4, 2009



i juz hope ppl can be honest to each other...

juz tell me if u think so~

i dare to say i respect ppl frm diffrnt background more than many ppl do

my own opinion is that every single religion is good

every single race is unique

i never categorize anyone using any method

just u might hear me saying sumtg so

example: iyo..malay is like tat d lar~

pls lar..not all k...

and i mean ntg

my own believe is=

all of us is juz the same

mayb i shoud juz shut my mouth

and be invisible

then the lecturers will complaint bout it

julyan,u need to speak up

z Z zzzz zzZZZZZ

SO tired of this....

life isnt that good during these few days

i wanna see changes

meet PANGKOR soon

everytg shall be fine...

Tuesday, November 3, 2009














life with all postive and negative moods drives me craZy...










life with all kinds of ppl drives me craZy...

tell me...

who is normal in this life?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009





holiday plan~

mummy~ wanna cry edi~

big plan for holiday arr!~ arghhhh!~

request from lecturer:-

1. english intensive course...still ok~ but very expensive lehh

2. cut my hair~ look like juz washed clothes...astaga~ sedih=.=

3. read shakespeare~ huhu....die(ing) soon

4. get ready for English on Air! cant wait! so exciting~>.<

5. T.E.S.L camp~ huhu..ganbateh!~ brush up my english man~

6. weAR like a young gurl..huhu:) means need shopping lar~

7. brush and brush and brush up english~ helpppp!!!!

8. revision~ revision~ revision~ dead!~

9. volunteer~ i wanna go~ huhu..bring me along pls~

10.i hope i cud go

=.= k..going to thinking skills clas now~ muackkkssssss

Saturday, October 24, 2009

what if?

there are a lot of unexpected things will happen in our life

so here i wnt to share about my "what if"

what if i fall for him?

what if i die?

what if i am not a human?

what if i pick another path?

what if i kill someone?

what if i am not a gurl?

what if i can sing?

what if my parents leave me?

what if i dont have siblings?

what if i born in 16th century?

what if i died at 100?

what if i am a retarded kid?

this is all called stupid question...

stop thinking about unexpected things and live life well...

Thursday, October 22, 2009


~ Family ~

I love u

U love me

We are happy family

New built family in IPGM kAMpus Teknik

Never thought of this might happen to me

But it is now happening


Ayah~ Hakeem Ashcroft

Mak ~ Zaja

Anak ~ Julyan Ashcroft

Daddy~ erhemmm

Mummy~ Anis

Brother~ Anep

Brother~ Azwan

Sister/ uNcLe~ Rachel

Sister~ Khai
Boyfriend ~ Joe


~Double happiness~

TESL won the second place for PUISIDRA 2009

Hakeem Ashcroft – Best Actor

Kak Anis- Best Actress

Congrate and thank you

Huhu^^ great job to all of us!

Celebrate for the victory

Again, I achieve something in my life

Though it is not a very big one

I am still happy

At least I tried my best to fit in here

I hope TESL stay happy all the time

No fight but love each other all the time

I love here

Although far from dream

Near to Love & Friendship~

Continue my journey

Next ~ English theatre

I am not doing well for this

But I am happy to join it

I will try my best

No more the old Julyan

~ Flight response ~

Add oil!!!~

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

世俗 。 冷落

















说: 我很坚强










Monday, October 12, 2009

at this moment

At this very moment,

i would like to share something with the blog...

i am not happy now...

for no reason...i am not that much into him..

this is what i persuaded myself...

i am only Julyan...

no one else but Julyan who only need money,friends and family to survive...

then, now...

this very moment,there should be nothing to sad about...

left myself alone...

i fight for myself...

no one else, but i love myself the most...

no one else deserve my love, but only me myself...

nothing i need but my friends,family and money...

i am surrounded by good things...

yet, i fall into sadness...

life is never easy...

i throw out all my feelings but forgot about it...

~He is not available~

Friday, October 9, 2009

Saturday!~ in campus again

~today is saturday~
woke up at 11.30am
yesterday watched ~sweeney todd~ till 2.30am
read some tips for photography
confused [lens & sensor]
gotta read more and more
but life continued
today cafe is not open
have maggi tomyam for lunch
lovely- my favourite food
later will go back home
tomorrow will hang around wif leaderonomers
but havent gt a way to go thr
dun so mohsin lar~
i am tired of u
handle ur problem
is so tiring!~
to do list:
1. theatre stuff
2. thinking skills assignment
3.emotional intelligence assignment
4. clean my messy room
today gotta b bz
God bless me ya
I wanna settle most of them~

Thursday, October 8, 2009

missed call


i saw a missed call dis morning when i wake up..

i was ...


he called me...


i was thinking...

mayb its bcoz of my status...

i feel guilty coz i was sleeping tat time..

as usual~ like a pig!~

i was so sorry...


waiting for sms nw...

shud i go ~ i mean d workshop...


so many hmmm...

i miz them..DIODE!

life is all abt give and take...

remember,u nid to giv 1st..

then only take...

take without giv is called steal...

but my heart is stolen ^^

nak cubit!~

abe is back..


he alwys giv me d same feeling...

nak cubit dya..

he cut his hair lol..

or i should say, he shave his hair..

x biasa...

rachel and i keep on looking at him and laugh..

so cute lar..

really wanna pinch him...

story end...

Saturday, October 3, 2009

sleep~ Saturday in CAMPUS!~

sleep~ sleep~ sleep~

Lazy pig sleep till 11am today

Rachel reached my room at 8am..

Omgorsh, damn early….

But, I am still a pig…

Sleep no matter what happen..

Yesterday night, back from leisure mall,

I [lepak] with anis and jaja

Then go back to hostel,

Bath and washed all my cothes…

Then paint our block till 12.30am…

Next clean up my room till 2am…huhu^^ finally back to nice one…

Eat too much until stomachache, force myself to sleep…

But, Mr Tea went for karaoke till 3am…crazy!

Finally, pig wake up…go for lunch in café…

We called out Mr Tea for math assignment…

We talk about fb as well…ha2…we are friends…no matter what happen…

And meet Abe(KKR) & PG…then Redza and Zuhdi…

Then went back room. Now I am typing my blog…

Abuu and Abe said they are going to Amal’s open house... enjoy it!

Now, I need to clean my stuff to prepare to go home…wacha!

I am still happy about my allowance^^

Friday, October 2, 2009


Allowance in my acc!

So excited!!

I have so much fun today!

Today, our allowance is coming in,

Everybody is so happy and excited about it…

Some even rush to [ sedut ] the money out from bank right after school…

So happy to get 3 month allowances at once…

Can you imagine, u suffer for 3 months…

Then, suddenly $$ kaching kaching $$… your account has RM 1500!!

Oh my goodness! That is just so exciting…

From Memoirs of a Geisha,

Then to KKR’s drink- [air tebu] tq very much.

To English Theatre,

And Nasyid practice…but Qoha, take care of your voice please.

Then, the day passes fast.

During the night time, 4 shopaholics went to leisure mall…

Things turned unexpected and uncontrollable…

If anyone could control shopaholics in shopping mall, especially sales…

Please tell me…

I would like to bring him/ her along…ha2

Everything seems to be in perfect condition…

I mean seems…

This is life; there are always unhappy things…
But, these things are not enough to spoil your mood for whole day…

I am here, just to write down the unhappy events today:

As usual, I said morning to almost everyone that I see. But, there are still people who did not reply me. So rude! The lecturers are always the best. I mean most of them. They will always reply or give sweet smiles. Isn’t that a wonderful gift for other people? ^^ Especially in the morning. Don’t be so [ kedekut ]

I had a small quarrel with Rachel in class. That’s not fun. I don’t like to argue with friends. I apologized although she showed no reaction. I mean she did not show me angry face. I should be generous not so selfish. Julyan- stupid fish hawker.

Today is the date to submit thinking skill proposal. Rachel and I managed to finish it. But, M.R Tea accidentally lost it. I did not mean to blame him; I just want to release the frustration. I hope he did not feel hurt.

Next, it’s about theatre. I found myself to be too quiet. Am I a leader? I was asking myself for few years. I am the vice president, but not even able to work well with my colleagues. So disappointed.

I forgot to bring my key out today. I messed up my day, and my roommate’s day as well, feel so sorry about it. Sorry from the bottom of my heart.

Sorry to M.R Tea that I could not make it. I should do my promise. Instead of doing assignments, I was having fun outside. Wanki, I just felt sad that I did not manage to meet you.

Lastly, I was so nervous just now. I worried that we would be late to be back to campus. We shopped until 10pm and so hard to get a cab during the time. Luckily, we got one good cab driver; he is such a humorous man.

Conclusion: human life is always more interesting because there might be different emotions every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year and so on. ^^

Love everyone from TESL.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


wow!4 weeks pass
lecturer calling us senior?!
as there are new intake
but the fake one..haha
i love all the lecturers
i only hate the homeworks
but i love social studies
i learn for myself
k..back to topic
i am planning sometg
i planned to travel to a place this year end..HAHA
i am planning to visit to...

target: Abe and Abuuu's houses
Abe say can homestay
Abuu say can live with him
○(* ̄︶ ̄*)○
they are so nice
let plan more
first visit Abe
next Abuu..
then can go find Tennis??
but still
i need leave sometime for upm kampus bintulu sarawak
byron say they r coming back for genting trip..
i hope i hav time to join..
nice to noe all my fren here
so far..
i enjoyed it

my kind of boy ○(* ̄︶ ̄*)O

if you're a guy- post this as "my kind of girl".
if you're a girl- post it as "my kind of boy".

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
- comfortable jiu ok edi..

2. Smart?
- smarter than me pls..but i prefer if he could make me smile..

3. Preferred age?
- age is alwys not a prob ^^

4. Preferred height?
- ermm..of coz taller..169cm above mayb

5. How about sense of humor?
- able to make me smile is more than enuf

6. How about piercings?
- i guess...NO

7. Accepts you for who you are?
- EHEM..if not,who is gonna accept me..

8. Pink hair?
- ermm...did boy fit pink hair??

9. Mushy or no?
- i am in love ok lor..

10. Thin or fat?
- normal..=.=

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
- no comments worr..

12. Long hair or short hair?
- medium or short..

13. Plastic or metal?
- i dun wan robot lar..

14. Smells good?
- Yup yup..

15. Smoker?
- NO!! dont bring tat smell near too me...

16. Drinker?
- pls dont get drunk ezily..

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
- next to my door type? no..haha..ok lor..

18. Muscular?
- too over i will vomit..

19. Plays piano?
- prince?! must be lovely one..

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
- melting.. ~( ̄▽ ̄)~( ̄▽ ̄)~爽到不行~

21. Plays violin?
- omg....○(* ̄︶ ̄*)○

22. Sings very good?
- not a must..but if can..^^ haha

23. Vain
messy i dont want.

24. With glasses?
- its alright..

25. With braces?
- ermm...b4 i meet him..

26. Shy type?
- ○(* ̄︶ ̄*)○ bit bit is cute..

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
- u hav right to rebel for right things..

28. Active or passive?
- action pls..

29. Tight or bomb?
- huh? x paham langsung..

30. Singer or dancer?
- yo..wateva

31. Stunner?
- if not,how he attract me lar..

32. Hiphop?
- no prob man..

33. Earrings?
- i go 1st lar..tata

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop
-s hall i count mine too??haha

35. Dimples?
- wat a cute one...

36. Bookworm?
- wise person..totally yes..dun forget me then fine lor..

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
- romantic giler

38. Playful?
- yaya..

39. Flirt?
- Try to flirt wif others!!he will get to know me..

40. Poem writer?
- wahh..ok je..

- depends..serius guy stun me...^^

42. Campus crush?
- eh?! reli dunno..

43. Painter?
- life..

44. Religious?
- no cults pls...

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
- xP dun so cincai lar..

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
- not a geek..

47. Speaks 20 languages?
- i will admire him till death lar..teach me pls..

48. Loyal or faithful?
- both

49. Good kisser
- to steal my heart

50. Loves children?
- wat can i do if he doesnt like...but i like babies..


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

not sure...

I am not sure for everything..

For this moment,I am not feeling sad..

but I am not in joy oso..

the reason I am not feeling sad is because..

its my bday..i shud be happy..

I am not sure with what I am doing here..

Is this the place that i belong to??

or I am asking myself,do u want to giv up again??

Is that really possible that I am the person that give up easily..

I found myself being so stupid..

I hav bad basic..and it happen bcoz me myself..