A Teacher & A Diver

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be s o? I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today. by William Allen White

just back from camp ~ recreation sport~ ~ raudhah camp~ ~ teluk nipah~ ~ pulau pangkor~ guess what? this is a subject for my course *1st day* frm campus to jetty reach pangkor with ferry [ build up own tent ] seriously,hw long hav i been building a tent lost almst all of my skills cook for dinner we got curry fish! yum!^^ *2nd day* early in the morning we move to teluk nipah ~beach~ started with [ water confidence ] with life jacket don't panic in water! [ rakit time ] build own rakit with 3 bamboo sticks and 10 pelampung travel frm the shore to the coral island my team gt the 1st place! huhu V(^.^)V then back to the shore i heard we traveled 1.5km sweats~ tiring~ some even hurt their hands..not me of coz lecturers said so,its either u pedal till the shores or u die in the middle of the sea wakakaka rest, cook, LDK gotta do ppr work and reports *3rd DAY* [ Abseiling ] gayat!~ but mission accomplished hiking kononnyer juz pas thru a jungle to reach the hidden beach [ snorkeling ] a

life is full with unexected things... few weeks ago with the hope to build up good relationshi with frens this week thing changes argue and recover what are we trying to do? few weeks ago i was dissapointed though i was not that much to him this week thing changes hold on hot and cool and remain our hot again~ cud i fall for him? few weeks ago i was so excited to be someone wif different identity this week thing changes bcoz of his dishonesty i hold on the excitement try to think rationally we are different though we are similar cud we be good buddy and family forever? few weeks ago i was still free this week thing changes bz with works just bcoz i want to go to Pangkor i should say i am so happy to leave those unhappy things in kl meet new life....soon.... i will be back~ V(^.^)V

sick~ not my body sick.. my mind... my heart... sick... i am starving~ i am getting crazy~ atmosphere is so akward... i remain quiet... u too ignorant silently predicting our future

sometimes i juz hope ppl can be honest to each other... juz tell me if u think so~ i dare to say i respect ppl frm diffrnt background more than many ppl do my own opinion is that every single religion is good every single race is unique i never categorize anyone using any method just u might hear me saying sumtg so example: iyo..malay is like tat d lar~ pls lar..not all k... and i mean ntg my own believe is= all of us is juz the same mayb i shoud juz shut my mouth and be invisible then the lecturers will complaint bout it julyan,u need to speak up z Z zzzz zzZZZZZ SO tired of this.... life isnt that good during these few days i wanna see changes meet PANGKOR soon everytg shall be fine...

mad?! jealousy?! crazy?! mad?! jealousy?! crazy?! mad?! jealousy?! crazy?! mad?! jealousy?! crazy?! life with all postive and negative moods drives me craZy... love?! family?! friend?! love?! family?! friend?! love?! family?! friend?! life with all kinds of ppl drives me craZy... tell me... who is normal in this life?

rush! rush! rush!

mummy~ wanna cry edi~ big plan for holiday arr!~ arghhhh!~ request from lecturer:- 1. english intensive course...still ok~ but very expensive lehh 2. cut my hair~ look like juz washed clothes...astaga~ sedih=.= 3. read shakespeare~ huhu....die(ing) soon 4. get ready for English on Air! cant wait! so exciting~>.< 5. T.E.S.L camp~ huhu..ganbateh!~ brush up my english man~ 6. weAR like a young gurl..huhu:) means need shopping lar~ 7. brush and brush and brush up english~ helpppp!!!! 8. revision~ revision~ revision~ dead!~ 9. volunteer~ i wanna go~ huhu..bring me along pls~ 10.i hope i cud go home...now.... =.= k..going to thinking skills clas now~ muackkkssssss

there are a lot of unexpected things will happen in our life so here i wnt to share about my "what if" what if i fall for him? what if i die? what if i am not a human? what if i pick another path? what if i kill someone? what if i am not a gurl? what if i can sing? what if my parents leave me? what if i dont have siblings? what if i born in 16th century? what if i died at 100? what if i am a retarded kid? this is all called stupid question... stop thinking about unexpected things and live life well...

~ Family ~ I love u U love me We are happy family New built family in IPGM kAMpus Teknik Never thought of this might happen to me But it is now happening T.E.S.L GO! Ayah~ Hakeem Ashcroft Mak ~ Zaja Anak ~ Julyan Ashcroft Daddy~ erhemmm Mummy~ Anis Brother~ Anep Brother~ Azwan Sister/ uNcLe~ Rachel Sister~ Khai Boyfriend ~ Joe Well ~Double happiness~ TESL won the second place for PUISIDRA 2009 Hakeem Ashcroft – Best Actor Kak Anis- Best Actress Congrate and thank you Huhu^^ great job to all of us! Celebrate for the victory Again, I achieve something in my life Though it is not a very big one I am still happy At least I tried my best to fit in here I hope TESL stay happy all the time No fight but love each other all the time I love here Although far from dream Near to Love & Friendship~ Continue my journey Next ~ English theatre I am not doing well for this But I am happy to join it I will try my best No more the old Julyan ~ Flight response ~ Add oil!!!~

被冷落的感觉很糟 星座说要相信自己 可是别人的眼光 叫我无法相信 我传简讯也没回复 我上网找他聊天也说忙 哪一刻你才会看到我? 哪一刻我才会被保护？ 那一刻我才能真的不需要 那些无谓的人～ 我不想需要 也不需要 可是我还没那么坚强 我还是会问自己 我被冷落了吗？ 然后自言自语 说： 我很坚强 有没有被冷落 根本不重要吧～ 现在 这一切不重要 不想让人生留下遗憾 所以加油！ 灵感不见了 根本写不出诗 想撞墙！

At this very moment, i would like to share something with the blog... i am not happy now... for no reason...i am not that much into him.. this is what i persuaded myself... i am only Julyan... no one else but Julyan who only need money,friends and family to survive... then, now... this very moment,there should be nothing to sad about... left myself alone... i fight for myself... no one else, but i love myself the most... no one else deserve my love, but only me myself... nothing i need but my friends,family and money... i am surrounded by good things... yet, i fall into sadness... life is never easy... i throw out all my feelings but forgot about it... ~He is not available~

~today is saturday~ woke up at 11.30am yesterday watched ~sweeney todd~ till 2.30am read some tips for photography huhu^^ confused [lens & sensor] gotta read more and more (=.=) tired but life continued today cafe is not open have maggi tomyam for lunch lovely- my favourite food later will go back home prepare tomorrow will hang around wif leaderonomers but havent gt a way to go thr =.= dun so mohsin lar~ i am tired of u handle ur problem is so tiring!~ to do list: 1. theatre stuff 2. thinking skills assignment 3.emotional intelligence assignment 4. clean my messy room today gotta b bz God bless me ya I wanna settle most of them~

huhu^^ i saw a missed call dis morning when i wake up.. i was ... 5am.. he called me... hmm... i was thinking... mayb its bcoz of my status... i feel guilty coz i was sleeping tat time.. as usual~ like a pig!~ i was so sorry... hmm... waiting for sms nw... shud i go ~ i mean d workshop... hmm.. so many hmmm... i miz them..DIODE! life is all abt give and take... remember,u nid to giv 1st.. then only take... take without giv is called steal... but my heart is stolen ^^

abe is back.. well.. he alwys giv me d same feeling... nak cubit dya.. he cut his hair lol.. or i should say, he shave his hair.. x biasa... rachel and i keep on looking at him and laugh.. so cute lar.. really wanna pinch him... story end...

sleep~ sleep~ sleep~ Lazy pig sleep till 11am today Rachel reached my room at 8am.. Omgorsh, damn early…. But, I am still a pig… Sleep no matter what happen.. Yesterday night, back from leisure mall, I [lepak] with anis and jaja Then go back to hostel, Bath and washed all my cothes… Then paint our block till 12.30am… Next clean up my room till 2am…huhu^^ finally back to nice one… Eat too much until stomachache, force myself to sleep… But, Mr Tea went for karaoke till 3am…crazy! Finally, pig wake up…go for lunch in café… We called out Mr Tea for math assignment… We talk about fb as well…ha2…we are friends…no matter what happen… And meet Abe(KKR) & PG…then Redza and Zuhdi… Then went back room. Now I am typing my blog… Abuu and Abe said they are going to Amal’s open house... enjoy it! Now, I need to clean my stuff to prepare to go home…wacha! I am still happy about my allowance^^

Allowance in my acc! So excited!! I have so much fun today! Today, our allowance is coming in, Everybody is so happy and excited about it… Some even rush to [ sedut ] the money out from bank right after school… So happy to get 3 month allowances at once… Can you imagine, u suffer for 3 months… Then, suddenly $$ kaching kaching $$… your account has RM 1500!! Oh my goodness! That is just so exciting… From Memoirs of a Geisha, Then to KKR’s drink- [air tebu] tq very much. To English Theatre, And Nasyid practice…but Qoha, take care of your voice please. Then, the day passes fast. During the night time, 4 shopaholics went to leisure mall… Things turned unexpected and uncontrollable… If anyone could control shopaholics in shopping mall, especially sales… Please tell me… I would like to bring him/ her along…ha2 Everything seems to be in perfect condition… I mean seems… This is life; there are always unhappy things… But, these things are not enough to spoil your mood for whole day… I am here,

plus idiot haikkk..

wow!4 weeks pass lecturer calling us senior?! as there are new intake but the fake one..haha i love all the lecturers i only hate the homeworks but i love social studies i learn for myself k..back to topic planning.. i am planning sometg i planned to travel to a place this year end..HAHA i am planning to visit to... KELANTAN!! HUHU hooray!! target: Abe and Abuuu's houses yeah!!! Abe say can homestay Abuu say can live with him ○(*￣︶￣*)○ they are so nice well let plan more first visit Abe next Abuu.. then can go find Tennis?? mayb yipppie but still i need leave sometime for upm kampus bintulu sarawak byron say they r coming back for genting trip.. i hope i hav time to join.. nice to noe all my fren here so far.. i enjoyed it

if you're a guy- post this as " my kind of girl ". if you're a girl- post it as " my kind of boy ". 1. Do you need him/her to be good looking? - comfortable jiu ok edi.. 2. Smart? - smarter than me pls..but i prefer if he could make me smile.. 3. Preferred age? - age is alwys not a prob ^^ 4. Preferred height? - ermm..of coz taller..169cm above mayb 5. How about sense of humor? - able to make me smile is more than enuf 6. How about piercings? - i guess...NO 7. Accepts you for who you are? - EHEM..if not,who is gonna accept me.. 8. Pink hair? - ermm...did boy fit pink hair?? 9. Mushy or no? - i am in love ok lor.. 10. Thin or fat? - normal..=.= 11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)? - no comments worr.. 12. Long hair or short hair? - medium or short.. 13. Plastic or metal? - i dun wan robot lar.. 14. Smells good? - Yup yup.. 15. Smoker? - NO!! dont bring tat smell near too me... 16. Drinker? - pls dont get drunk ezily.. 17. Girl/Boy-next-door type? - next to

I am not sure for everything.. For this moment,I am not feeling sad.. but I am not in joy oso.. the reason I am not feeling sad is because.. its my bday..i shud be happy.. I am not sure with what I am doing here.. Is this the place that i belong to?? or I am asking myself,do u want to giv up again?? Is that really possible that I am the person that give up easily.. I found myself being so stupid.. I hav bad basic..and it happen bcoz me myself..